12.13.2014

You Can Keep Your Rock

Over a month ago I was saying goodbye to my friends, professors, and everyone else who has helped me over the years at my uni. "When are you coming back?" "Are you coming back?" I think so. I want to finish school, so I have to right? I want to be back by winter semester, but I make no promises. 

So much can happen in such a short amount of time. Most people I've talked to agrees that I shouldn't waste my time at MUN. I need to do what I want to do. I need to do what I enjoy. I need to stop fighting with a conservative and disorganised institution that clearly has no intentions of moving into the future. It's just not a good fit. We don't get along.

I haven't considered it myself. Not since first year. I was given a choice to stick it out on the rock or return to Toronto. I don't regret the decision I made back then. I thought I could make it work, and by staying there I have had the opportunity to meet some amazing people, on the rock and abroad. 

Aside from the stubborn system I've had to deal with out there, there is a huge problem with support systems. What little is available is inconsistent and mostly for emergencies only. What about the people who aren't really in an emergency but are suffering all the time? And what about the people who are in crisis? (I feel like a crisis is bigger than an emergency. Is it?) For a school who is so determined to increase their student population, and they have been, they are making little to no effort to increase and improve services available to students. This is not ok and it is extremely dangerous. Thankfully I had a mind to get out and breathe.



And so here I am. Earlier this week I went to an information session at York University. I might be a lion again. wtf The recruitment officer who gave the presentation was really cool and stressed that this whole university thing is MY thing. I need to study what I love and I need to do it in my own time. My dad should have been there for that. York has awesome programs, and the only university in Canada that comes close is UBC. I'd love to go there but I need to be realistic about life. So that's the plan. For now. My plans are always changing. I'm pretty sure I was on the road to China only two months ago. -_-


I came back to Toronto to get healthy. To get away from the constant fear that followed me everywhere. To try to put together some kind of support system that is stable. That's really difficult when you don't have everyone around you holding you up and cheering you on. Sometimes I think I just need to have a sit down with the fam and tell them exactly what's been going on this past year. But then I'm like, "Shouldn't you all be supporting me with or without the details of my shitty life?" Isn't that what family is for? Whatever. It's Christmas time, and that seems to mean something to these people, so I'll hold off a little while longer. I'll just sit here and eat my doughnuts. 

*picks up another doughnut* 

2014. The year of the Horse. This was supposed to be my year. Life was supposed to be grand. What happened? How did I end up here? How do I get out?


11.20.2014

Dream: Tablo

Last week I had a dream that I had just married Tablo. We were living in Korea in a ten story building. On the ninth floor was a YG Entertainment shop or something. I think they owned the building. The tenth floor, the whole of the tenth floor, was our new apartment. It was a gift from Tablo. It was huge, too big for only three people to be living in. (Haru was living with us.)

When I first entered the apartment, everyone was there. Mithra Jin, DJ Tukutz with his family, Haru, and at one point, Hye-jung made an appearance. We were on good terms, which is obviously the best situation for Haru. The apartment was already decorated. -__- Not to my liking, but it's the thought that counts. 

I don't know exactly when Tablo and I married, but it was still a secret from everybody outside of the YG family. It was quite annoying going into the elevator with fans of YG cause they'd wonder why I didn't get off with them at the ninth floor. Somehow everyone knew that Tablo lived on the tenth floor, but still did not know about our relationship. Get a clue people! 

At some point, maybe a week later, my uncle came to stay with us. There wasn't any adult sized beds in out apartment other than ours. My uncle was cool with sleeping on the floor and I knew he really didn't mind, but there was someone else in the apartment who kept judging me for not giving up my bed. I cannot remember who it was or why she was there, but can you honestly tell me that you know my uncle better than me? wtf
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This was all I can remember from the dream. I should make a habit of recording these things as soon as I wake. I do remember waking up and being pissed though. I'm a huge fan of Tablo. He's one of my favourite rappers of ever, but everyone who knows me would know that Mithra Jin is more my style. Cannot resist that facial hair and deep voice wtf. 

10.04.2014

I Don't Hate You...

...but I might.
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Please don't be offended when I delete you from my friends list on facebook. It's not that I don't like you. It's rare that I'm deleting people because I don't like them. It's probably cause we don't talk anymore, like in ten years or something, and we don't talk because we don't have anything to say to each other. This distance can bite me in the butt later on in life when I become super famous. Since we are no longer "close", I risk having my personal life sold to the media. I think some people would find this easy to do to the people they once knew but still have on facebook. I don't want to be a victim of this, so better safe than sorry, right? 

However, I have deleted people because I don't like them, or they just be fucking up majorly and I don't have time for their bullshit. *HINT* If you're white**, it's probably not a good idea to use the N word. Thought that was a given. Then there was them cousins who literally reported things I posted on fb to their parents as though I was committing a crime or something, and the drama that came with it... ಠ_ಠ Here's to hoping y'all have grown up since. And of course there was those people who were openly stupid. *HINT* Never ever ever make excuses for rapists!!! You need to get the devil cast out of you. 

If you're confused as to why I deleted you, then just assume that it's cause we've fallen out of touch. "I'm deleting you because I don't trust that you won't fuck me over in the future, but I'm sure you're still a great person." HA! Seriously though, I just don't feel comfortable having a whole lot of people knowing my business. If it's not on one of my blogs, then it's not for world consumption. But if you know that you're one, or more, of those special kinds of stupid mentioned above, that's why I've deleted you. And if you are a special kind of stupid, don't say hi to me next time you see my face. 


**Singling out white people casue they're the only one's who've been stupid enough to do this on facebook in MY experience. If you're not black and throwing this word out there, I'll delete you just the same.

10.01.2014

Smart People

I've managed to post four times in September!! I haven't blogged this much in a long time. So I guess this means I'm actually back. ^_^
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I had the pleasure of listening to Dr. Kiri Miller of Brown University today at MUN. She gave two talks, that I know of. The first one was in one of my classes. It was interactive and I really felt good that I could contribute to the conversation. I actually got what was going on and was able to think critically about the topic. 

The second talk was a bit shocking for me though. This was a full on academic lecture, and I was lost. Why use big words? haha I understood what she was talking about and I think I followed along quite well, but I didn't feel very smart while listening to her. It was like I was at the adult table for Thanksgiving but should've probably stayed at the kids' table. This doesn't take away from my interest in the topic and it didn't make the talk "bad". I just felt that I was a bit out of place. 

After the talk was done, there was time for questions. This was when I got a little worried. Most of the people asking questions were grad students and professors, I think, and they all asked these really awesome questions. I just sat there thinking, "Wow! These people are so smart." And then I thought. "Wow! I'm so stupid." When do people get to this level of being smart? Or sounding smart? They're all faking it, right? And when do I get there? 

This is my fourth year in uni and I know I've learned a great deal of things, however I'm not sure if I'm smart. Yes, I know about China and India's great contributions to the world, I know that western philosophy is a waste of time, and I know the history of the English language. So what? All this information doesn't make me a smart person. I feel like there's this huge gap between my undergrad self and those other grad students. They probably write really good papers, have great reading and comprehension skills, and a really interesting collection of books. And then there's me. My papers are vague, I struggle with my reading and taking in written information, and my favourite book is Stargirl. Am I making any sense here?

I'd love to go to grad school, but I don't know what to do. I don't know where to start. There's no instructions. I feel like people are already "there" and ready to go. What am I missing? Maybe my idea of grad school is off and it's not all big words and terrifyingly large papers the size of A Song of Ice and Fire. Or maybe that's exactly what it is. ¯\(°_o)/¯ 

I want to continue studying Buddhism. But not just studying it. I was so fascinated in Korea by all the temples I went to visit and/or stayed in. It was so cool to have been learning about the religion and then get to see it up close in one of the many forms that it has grown into. I want to be there to observe and participate, all the while having in the back of my mind how it all started. I want to hear the stories of the people who practice Buddhism and how it plays a role in their everyday lives. Maybe I should be minoring in sociology or something. Oops. 

The world of academics just seems too small and boring. I don't feel creative in my studies. I don't do anything with what I learn. What good is there in another paper full of big words that most people cannot understand? It's so inaccessible. I want to continue studying, and I want to do something useful with it. Can my thesis be a documentary? 

When I started typing this post, I was thinking about how smart those people were today, and how stupid I felt. Now that I have kind of managed to put my thoughts down, I realise that I'm smart too. I'm just a different kind of smart and there needs to be more ways for people with different abilities to contribute to the academic world. Things probably won't change any time soon, so I'll just go to bed tonight regretting my decision to not stick with performing arts haha. Good night lovely people.


p.s. To all you people sitting there reading my writing and thinking, "Omg! This kid can't write. She is stupid." First of all, only I can say mean things about myself. Secondly, I don't write this bad for my uni papers. Finally, ..... Ok, I only had two points there. Bye

9.29.2014

Productive Weekend

Not really. Not much got done actually. 

On Saturday I went grocery shopping. Quick one cause stupid buses in St. John's cannot run a proper schedule. Times like this I really miss Korea. Always 24-hour corner store in almost every corner wtf, and grocery stores never far from the places I lived. Never had to stress about getting food. And if too lazy to shop for groceries and kimbap not enough, hot food at street food stand or go into restaurant for quick meal. Never cost more than $7 maybe. Where I live now, must take bus to grocery store and closest corner store is maybe ten minutes away from me wtf. Could walk to mall, ten minutes the other way, but mall food so damn expensive and not much choice. 

Sunday I cleaned the washroom while watching Superman is Back. Watched maybe three episodes. Got no life or avoiding responsibilities? Did not realise that show is so long, but still watch it anyways. 

Rest of the weekend I wonder why I'm so pathetic and cannot get important things done in life. Must write everything down or else I get overwhelmed. But waste so much time writing things down cause everything must be so clear. Then get stressed again cause still nothing get done. -__-

Really cannot handle anything right now. If I can only manage laundry, cleaning and grocery shopping, maybe I shouldn't be in school at the moment. Nothing else to do though. Cause I clearly couldn't handle a job with proper hours, and cannot stay in bed forever and a day. *le sigh*

Been stressed about after school cause I don't know if I'd be able to go back to Korea to work as a teacher. Or if I can go anywhere at all. I know I cannot stay in Canada though. I've had enough of this place. So if cannot stay in Canada and cannot get a job abroad, what can I do?

It's nearly five in the morning and I have not slept. 

9.22.2014

cough cough sniffle sniffle

I feel so sick and I missed a whole day of school today. Chances of me going to school tomorrow are slim. This semester is already kicking my ass, and the first month has yet to finish. I'm already behind in my assignments & readings and it's a struggle to wake up in the mornings. Mostly because I haven't even fallen asleep yet by the time the sun comes up. I've also been locked up in my room for almost a week now cause my living situation is no longer comfortable, so I'm on the search for a new place. Just what I needed. -__- 

I made some kimchi soup cause I thought it would make me better. Kimchi cures all right? Still feeling like shit. Been in my room all day sleeping, watching TV and asking the universe to be done with this punishment. 

Right now I'm wondering if I should even stay here. Maybe this shitty living situation is a sign that I need to pack my shit up, drop out of this semester, and return to the hell that is Toronto. I really miss my orange bed sheets. Maybe I needed more than a month off from studying. Maybe I need a whole semester. I have no idea what I would do in Toronto, however it's better to be failing at life in your parent(s)' home than failing at life alone on an island all the while feeling super unsafe. Makes sense?

I don't have the energy to keep typing about nothing. I feel like my body is falling apart and I think it's best I just lay down and continue to watch TV in pain. Good night. I hope you're all doing better than me.

9.08.2014

Impossible

I got through my first week of classes. Wednesday, the first day, was the worst. I went to the counselling centre after my classes were done. I had to do an intake appointment since the person I saw last semester isn't there anymore. At one point the person I was talking to said something along the lines of, 'We can't change what happened in the past. We can only help you deal with it and learn ways to move forward.' I didn't get it. The first thing that came to my mind was, "What do you mean you can't change the past?! How am I supposed to move on with my life if you can't erase my memories?" I know that seems stupid but I honestly don't know how I can move on with the memories I have. This year has been the worst year of my life, up until I returned to Korea in June. I had to drop a class last minute, get the rest of my exams moved, and started taking medication, among other things. This is a clear sign that I cannot deal with the past. 

They then asked me what I wanted to work on in the future and what being better looked like. It was a really confusing thing to understand. First, I said that I don't know what to say in terms of what I want to work on. No. I know what I need to say and talk about, I just can't say it. And they told me that maybe talking about it isn't the way for me to work on things. But it is. I need to talk about it because I can't keep all this shit to myself. It's just too damn hard. And then the being better question. What does being better look like? How the hell am I supposed to know? I've been sick my whole life. I don't know what it's like to be well. Makes more sense to ask someone who's been there. 

Then they person went on about different things I could work with, treatment wise, and that's when I knew that it is all impossible. Everything they was telling me about are all things I've tried before. I did a whole year in college working on EFT, CBT, talking to my inner child, The Secret, writing letters with my non-dominant hand, and the list goes on. Nothing has changed. Nothing has gotten better. And I just sat there and thought that the only way for things to go forward is if you just put me on a super high dose of meds until I'm at the point that all I can do is live. Live without emotion. Just turn me into a zombie. I want to be so out of it that I can't remember a thing. 

I'm hoping this week will be better. I've gone the whole weekend laying in bed and barely ate a thing. I also didn't sleep again last night, so I'm off to a bad start. I'm so lost right now.

9.03.2014

First Day Blues

In tears right now. I've been so stressed out these past few days and school hasn't even started yet. I have just received the smallest glimmer of hope though, so I'm breathing again.

Ever since I got back to Newfoundland, I've been staying up all night stressing about school and life, and then going on to sleep away most of the day. I've also managed to eat a steady diet of froot loops with the occasional piece of cornbread or pineapple upside down cake, so I've been sick cause of that and the stress. I started to get better yesterday, but I've been up all night again and my body is starting to punish me for it.

The only thing I did yesterday was clean the wash room, which needed a serious cleaning cause the girl who lived here in the summer didn't have high cleaning standards. Thank goodness she's moved out. I also did some laundry cause I didn't wash everything before I left for the summer. It's crazy the amount of effort it took me to do those two things.

I was just going over my schedule for this semester and I'm really thankful that I finally decided to start a semester with a smaller course load. A full course load hasn't worked out for me since my first semester in uni, but every semester I tell myself I can do it. It always ends up in shit though, and I've finally accepted the fact that a full course load is too much for me. My schedule has also worked out quite nicely. Every other day I finish class at 1pm, so I can go home and nap. Napping is very important. On the alternate days I have to be in at 9am, which really sucks, but it's for a course that probably wont be offered again while I'm still here. It should be a good one too. So just working on my major and minor this semester.

Hoping to get a MUCEP position and I'm a mentor for an international student again this year. I missed being a mentor. Then there's choir once a week and my usual weekly movie at the theatre. Also taking a weekend course, but it's only for three weekends so by the time mid terms roll in I'll be done with the extra work.

I'm already feeling better now that I have typed this out. This is what this blog has always been for and I'm sad that I've strayed from it for so long. I can only imagine all the terrible days I could have avoided if I had just took a few minutes to take things down. It has been a crazy year so far, but I'm hopeful that things will get better. Also hoping my nose will stop running by the time I get to first class.

Have a fantastic first day of classes!!

5.31.2014

31

I didn't know that May has 31 days. 

I didn't get around to going to bed last night until this morning actually. I saw the sun come up before I went to bed. I ended up waking up at a decent time but I have no energy to do anything anymore. When I finally got out of bed it was past 3 in the afternoon. The toilet overflowed wtf. It was just pee! So that made me feel even worse. It took a while for the toilet to finally flush and then I had to clean up. 

After all that, I showered and got ready to leave the house. Was dressed and everything. But I decided to eat before I left so that I'd have some energy to walk wtf. Watched an episode of Doctor Who while I ate, then listened to AKMU's album. Then 6pm approaches and I gave up. Could not leave the house. Couldn't do anything. 

So I've been in bed most of the day listening to music. Mostly AKMU, some pow wow music, and now listening to Solange. 

I've also returned to tumblr after being gone from there for about half a year wtf. The one time I leave for so long is the one time they make no changes to the website. Change is coming within the month I bet. Just to piss me off haha. 

Now my tooth is starting to hurt. So this shitty day just keep on getting better. -__- 

I started playing a new game on my phone last night. It's called Royal Revolt II. Kind of confusing one but I like it. I've missed gaming. Now I must decide if I should watch more Doctor Who or play this game. 

I can't believe it's already 11pm. ㅠ.ㅠ

OMG!! I can't believe it's almost already Bra Free Month!! haha Started this one four years ago in Katimavik. Let them breathe. 

3.14.2014

On Languages

Another Friday night by myself...

Sitting here listening to Louis Jean Cornier and convincing myself that I am finally ready to learn French. Again. I have tried in the past, but I've come to the conclusion that it's impossible to learn a language when there's a shit load of pressure to just know it. People often blamed my lack of skill in French on me just not wanting to learn the language, and that was true for school, but I tried in Katimavik. Not successful though. Its kind of hard to speak a language without a decent vocabulary. So telling a beginner to tell you about their day at the dinner table is not going to work. Fuck! Give me time. Korea was no better with this. So much pressure to speak in only Korean. Would be easy if I knew how to say anything. Cannot make a whole damn paragraph in a foreign language without a lot of time and a dictionary by my side. 

My official second language is Japanese. It sucks now, but when I was at my best, I was comfortable with it. Not because I was good, I was never fluent. But I was comfortable with it because I had a patient teacher who didn't push us through the material and pressure us to be able to spit out good sentences right off the bat. Heck, look at all the rules I break when writing in English. When I went on to study Japanese on my own, I had enough confidence in myself to keep picking up new things, and it helped. When I entered university Japanese, I flew through those courses with ease. 

Confidence is key to learning a new language, and it won't come out of barking down someone's throat or expecting too much from them too soon. So this spring I will give French a try again. I'll only be taking one other course so I think I'll be able to manage. And when I return to Toronto for the summer I hope I can sign up for another Korean course. A relaxed one. I know I'll do a decent job. Korean grammar is the easiest part of the language for me, so all the focus will go into building my vocab. Now all I gotta do is suffer through these next few weeks of classes and I'll have a nice three week long break full of watching Doctor Who and The Tudors.

Happy Language Learning!!

Super bored one from back in Korea.


Asano Tadanobu

Some background…

Asano Tadanobu is my second favourite actor of all time, second only to Sir Sidney Poitier. That's a big deal. Asano is in my favourite movie, Café Lumière, and I like almost every movie I've watched with him in it. Check out this post to find out some of the other movies of his that I highly recommend. I can always count on this man to put a smile on my face. He comes off as a big kid. Silly pictures on instagram and sometimes the sweetest person on twitter. I'm sure he's not all sunshine and lollipops. I sometimes get an interesting reaction from Japanese people when his name comes up haha. But hey, no one's perfect. Lies. Tom Hiddleston is totally perfect. Anywho, he's an amazing actor and I hope he continues to do what he does for a very long time. 

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Sorry for cropping your buddy out.

Moving on…

A few days ago I screen capped some pictures of Asano. He has been posting some really nice pictures of himself lately and I had time on my hands. So I made a collage of some of my more recent favourites and posted it on instagram tagging him in it. The next morning Buddy himself liked the picture!! I was so shocked. Had to check back about ten times. I was so happy. This is Xiaxie, QiuQiu and Audrey responding to my tweets all rolled up into one, times 1000.

Too bad that was the highlight of my day. Check out my Dayre for a look at the collage and to see how the rest of my day went. If nothing else good ever happens in my life again, I will have this to look back on. 
浅野 忠信、ありがとうございました!

3.08.2014

YG Fail?

2012 was an amazing year for YG Entertainment, and not just for PSY. New albums were released for BigBang, 2NE1 (Japanese) and Epik High, although the EH album wasn't the best, and world tours as well. They gained a whole lot of international attention, and it was looking like YG was going places.

Sadly 2013 wasn't too hot. There were a few moments where I thought something big was going to happen, but nothing came of them. "Ringa Linga" by Taeyang is an amazing song and the dance video was perfect. But no album. Then "Doom Dada", another great song, this time from T.O.P. But again, no album. Way to get my hopes up. Also, I've been waiting for a new album from PSY since the fall. G-Dragon put out an album and it was ok, but I've never been crazy about most of his solo work. The GD&TOP album was the best I've ever heard from him. 

So we said goodbye to 2013 and finally we get a new album from  CL and the Supremes 2NE1, "Crush". Four years we've waited and what do we get? Not much. It isn't bad, but it certainly isn't good. And they randomly threw Scream in there, cause you know, that was such a memorable song.(︶︿︶)


I did like the "Come Back Home" music video though. I kept thinking Matrix and Cloud Atlas while I was watching it. 

I don't know what's going on with this label, but I'm kind of over the just okayness of what they keep putting out. Apparently Epik High is back in the studio, but I don't know how long that wait is going to be. The only things that I have to really look forward to is a BigBang and PSY comeback. I would love a Gummy comeback too, but I won't hold my breath waiting for that. If no one can get their act together at least I'll still have these memories. No way I'm going over to SM or JYP. But please YG, give me something good.


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What do think about the new 2NE1 album?

3.01.2014

PyeongChang 2018


I missed out one the recent games cause boycotting and such. Was more difficult than I thought it would be cause I really love watching them. But I'm glad the final hockey game wasn't as big a deal as it was in Vancouver. Or at least that's what I'm told. I did watch Yuna Kim's performance though cause someone posted it on fb. I'm not a fan of figure skating anymore, but she had me in tears wtf. I think she should have gotten gold for that alone. haha And I did skip to the part of the closing ceremony that had Korea showing their little presentation. I still remember when Italy, Canada and Russia did there little presentation at the end of the closing ceremonies of the country they were taking over from. But this one not so big. I did love it cause the performers were singing Arirang and I love that song so much. Then I cried to myself for a while because I really miss Korea. haha Big baby I am.

I didn't know where the next winter games were going to be
 until about two weeks ago, and I freaked out when I saw that it will be in Korea. When I finish my undergrad in two years, I'm gonna be hopping on a plane headed for Korea. Or a plane head for Vancouver and then another one headed for Korea. But whatever. I'll either be there teaching or working on my master's wtf. I AM GOING TO BE LIVING IN KOREA DURING THE GAMES!!! This is more exciting than the Vancouver games in a way. Obviously I won't have the same pride of "my country is hosting the games", mind you, my pride in this country has gone down dramatically since 2010. But this time around I’m going to have access to the games. Canada is stupid and the cost of plane tickets alone would make it impossible for a poor college student in Toronto to make it out to Vancouver, but Korea is small and super cheap. (By Canadian standards.) So not only will I be able to make it out to events, but they're going to be only an hour away, if I go straight into my master's. And at most, five hours by a bus that only cost me $30. So yeah, I'm excited. Also school doesn't start until March so I'd be able to spend more than just a weekend in PyeongChang. 

I probably shouldn't go straight into my master's though cause some events are gonna be really expensive. So better if I go straight into teaching. Either way, I'm going to be there and I am so pumped for it. I will also blog about the games as they are happening. Probably more frequently than I did for the London games. Hopefully I'll even have pictures that I took myself.

Check out this video that the PyeongChang 2018 team put up a little while ago. Loves it…



Wait. Will I still be blogging four years from now? haha

2.22.2014

Justin Trudeau

*I am not up to date with politics and I'm not interested in any debates right now. Just throwing my thoughts out there.*

As I walked through my school yesterday, I started to think about Justin Trudeau. I wasn't keeping up with most Canadian politics while I was abroad, but his name did occasionally come to my attention. I've always been a fan of the man. My first memory of anything to do with Katimavik involves him in a commercial advertising the program way back when I was in middle school. He seems like a passionate and personable person, and blah blah blah... And I'm sort of a Liberal, if I had to put a name to it. So I guess I should support him.

When he became the leader of the Liberal Party I wasn't sure what to think. He's kind of young. Maybe he should wait a while. Leave an impression on the Canadian population or something. I don't know. And that's when it hit me. He's not that young anymore, and if he waits any longer, he might become further removed from knowing what the people of this country need. And, Shiva forbid, he might become another one of those old, white, sexist, racist, lying politicians that make make Canadians, young and old, shake their heads in disappointment and embarrassment as they apologize to the rest of the world for their leader's stupidity. I don't know what Justin's chances of becoming a significant leader of the history of the Liberal Party are. And I don't know if he'll ever become PM. But it doesn't matter to me anymore. Just do something useful. Do what you can. Make us proud you handsome man. 


x

2.16.2014

SGG Post On Culture Shock

Blogged again for Students Gone Global. Check it out here. It's just a look at some of the issues I've been having since I've returned from Korea. But I'd say it's quite a tamed version of what's been going on. My depression has come back full force. I have no desire to be back in St. John's. It's not comfortable and I feel really lonely. Maybe it because I'm used to having a lot of people in the same building as me. I don't know. I don't really talk to my roommates and I don't see my other friends as often as I'd like. I also don't have anyone here who I can talk to about personal stuff, so things are rough. 

I'm doing my best to make the most of my time here though. I have an awesome course load this semester, and I'm slowly getting used to life in St. John's. I'm also constantly thinking about the wonderful life I have ahead of me. And it's starting to look like children won't be a part of it. If I adopt, it probably won't happen till I'm close to 40. There's so much in this world to do, and I intend on doing as much of it as I can. I'm also seriously thinking about doing my master's. wtf Five years in high school, two years in college and volunteering and another five years in university!! What am I thinking? haha But I really want to go to Dongguk and study Buddhism. Possibly Seon Buddhism, which means I'd have to do it in Korean. Then there's working vacations, spending as much time as I can with my nephew, and a crap load of Doctor Who seasons to watch. haha Ok, now I remember why I started blogging. I'm already feeling better just typing this out. 

This post is all over the place. So here's some food...

Been eating like a boss this semester. All of this from scratch.

Ok, it's past 3 in the morning. Thank goodness it's midterm break. I'm gonna do my best to make the most of the rest of my time off. 

1.24.2014

Love Motels

I think my reverse culture, or culture shock, since I didn't have any abroad, is over. But there are still many things I miss about Korea, and one thing that I've been missing a lot recently, is motels. Not because I want to run off with random middle aged Koreans and have a time. I miss them because that's where people go to get it on so that they don't make the ones around them (roommates) uncomfortable. Ok, I'm sure that's not the real reason why there are a shit load of these motels in Korea, but that's what I'm going with. 

I think these, sometimes shady, $25 per 3 hours motels are a great idea, and St. John's should get these popping up everywhere. (Dear Canada, Please change your laws around this.) Everywhere I've lived in St. John's, I've had to deal with the noisy roommates, or random person who lived under me, and I am so over it. I don't need to hear it. I don't want to hear it. If I did want to hear it, I'd turn to porn. You get the visuals too. It's amazing. 

It's also super uncomfortable for me cause I kind of really dislike and distrust men and don't want any strange or random men in the house I'm living in. I don't care if you trust him. I don't, and I shouldn't have to be uncomfortable here. wtf

St. John's is a university town so every other person has a roommate or two or more. I know I'm not the only one dealing with this. So I propose that St. John's opens up a bunch of love motels. 

And that's all I have to say for now. Have a good night.

1.22.2014

Big News!!

So I don't think I've ever talked about this on here, but I don't really have a minor in my school program. For some strange reason, MUN makes it mandatory for all Arts students to have either a double major or a major and a minor. Can't graduate without this. I thought this was a terrible idea, but also assumed that this was a normal thing in universities all over. Apparently not. But that doesn't matter cause this is the school I go to and these are their rules.

When I first applied to MUN, I decided to do a major in Linguistics and a minor in Aboriginal studies. I love languages and I love learning about the different the people who were living on this land before the Europeans barged in and how they get on today. Even though I knew my plan, I still went through my first year with "undeclared" in the spot where my major should be. In my first semester I took the basic Linguistics course and loved it. I also took a course on Japanese religions, and loved that one too, as well as the professor. I was now considering a Religious studies minor but didn't want to give up Aboriginal studies. Then came second semester and I took two foundation courses that are required for the major and I hated it. Eventually dropped both of them. The Linguistics program at MUN is too focused on science and not much attention paid to etymology and historical linguistics. That's the stuff I wanted to study. When I came into my second year, I decided on a Religious studies major and an Aboriginal studies minor.

All was well. I took two more courses in my major and I still loved the program. But one of the mandatory courses for my minor was taken off the course offerings list before the semester started and I was left without doing any courses towards that. Then my exchange was coming up and I obviously couldn’t do any courses towards it in Korea. And I realise that my program is heavily reliant on other faculties to offer related courses since it's an interdisciplinary minor, but the other faculties don't seem to have this high on their priority list. I wasn't going to change my paper work though cause I still had my heart set on this program. All the while I'm going through all this in my head, I'm taking a Philosophy course. I found it highly entertaining and I got a decent mark on my papers, although one of them did drive me to drink. It was still a cool course and I was considering doing my minor here cause it is actually possible to achieve and I could do courses towards it in Korea.

Fast forward to my second semester in Korea. I'm sitting in my Logic course and hating life. I'm also reconsidering doing my minor in Philosophy. Chonnam National University has a great Philosophy program, as does Dongguk University. And then there's MUN. I found it to be a little too white European for my liking and didn't see how I'd benefit from it at all. So where does that leave me? In a panic, that's where. Then it came time to looking at course offerings for this current semester, while I was still abroad. I literally went through every departments' courses and looked for the most interesting things. There wasn't much. Turns out I'm extremely picky with this, as you should be too. 

We're paying big money to go to university. Everyone in uni should love what they're doing, otherwise you're wasting your time and money. So go on and be picky!

So I'm getting frustrated looking through what my school has. "Why don't they offer this as a minor?! Why is that only a diploma?! Why is this only offered at the other campus?! Why aren't there more slots for this class?!" ಠ_ಠ Whatever. I pick my courses and move on. I'm taking three towards my major to catch up, and two courses that go towards my core requirements. One in History and one in Sociology which I didn't want to take but actually love it and my prof. She's actually a very inspiring teacher and I love the passion she brings to the topics. Actually, I love my History prof too. I could write a whole post about her. I aspire to be her when I grow up. Anywho, my problem wasn't solved but I'm taking courses that I want to take. I can figure out about the minor during intersession or fall semester.

But I figured it out today!! If you're having trouble trying to figure out your program, GO SEE YOUR ACADEMIC ADVISOR!!! They will help you loads. My advisor was super patient with my picky self. We went through what credits I have, what else I need for core requirements and how many more courses I need to graduate. The easy stuff. Then we get to the minor issue. (interesting sentence) Sociology. No, I don't like the generalisations. History. No, not enough focus on the parts of the world I care about. Philosophy. No, too European. Music and Culture. WHAT?!?! What is this? This is a program? I can take this program? Stop everything!

Basically, I'm a dumb-ass. I have always assumed that all the music programs at my school are audition only. I didn't realise that there's a MUSIC CULTURE PROGRAM!! Ok calm down with the fucking caps key. There's also a Music History program, but you really don't need to go any further. We looked through the courses in the program, and I was sold. I asked again to make sure I can take this. haha Too good to be true. There's only one class in the entire program that I don't care for. I can handle that. I'd probably end up liking it anyways. wtf So there it is. Not on paper yet, but I'm pretty much decided on this one. It really sucks that MUN can't hurry up and get this Aboriginal studies major on the go, which would obviously put the minor program in a better position. I can't wait for that to happen though, so music it is!

Major in Religious Studies and minor in Music and Culture!!

It even sounds cool. ^.^

1.10.2014

Travel Woes

I was supposed to leave Korea at 5:00pm KST on Christmas Eve, but the weather was awful in Toronto. The days leading up to my departure I checked Air Canada's website to make sure everything was ok to leave. The bad weather had them putting on travel advisories for four or so days. The night before I was supposed to leave, I checked the statues of my flight and everything was a go. Next day, only hours before I was supposed to leave for the airport, I check again and Air Canada suggested that I change my flight if possible. So I'm here freaking out cause I don't even want to leave Korea, I'm not exactly done getting my shit together to leave and I wasn't sure I should go on ahead and change the flight or not. I'm usually good at getting my shit together and doing what needs to be done. Since 2011, I've been dealing with my own flights. Cancelling, rescheduling and waiting till the perfect day to get the right price. But I couldn't handle the stress this time. There was too much on my mind. So I talked to my dad on skype, and he was cool with me changing my flight. It was a relief. I'm not impressed with the storm and all the damage it made, but I am happy that I got that extra day in Korea. It was a little less painful, and I had time to do everything I needed to do.

I hate flying, but for some reason I was quite calm on my first flight. Listened to some music, which I'll have to post separate about, watched a couple of movies and ate some ok food. Landed at YVR, got my luggage, did the whole electronic customs system thingy, dropped off my luggage, went through security (had to take off my shoes this time) and waited to board the second plane. This one didn't go as well as the first. We had turbulence for the first half hour or so, and the kid beside me wouldn’t keep still or quiet. Then when we're almost at YYZ, pilot says that we have to circle around Waterloo or something cause of snow clearing. Pulling that out of my ass. I can't remember where it was. Finally we landed. Got my luggage and waited for my dad and sister to pick me up. Was the longest Christmas I've ever had.

Fast forward ten days. I'm ready to go on out to Newfoundland. Oh! But wait. They're having shitty weather too. I look at WestJet's site and they have travel advisories for the 2nd and 3rd. That's fine cause I'm not leaving till the 4th. But I keep checking anyways. I check in the morning before I’m supposed to go to the airport and it's still a go. Amy dad and I arrive at the airport at about 8am. Flight’s been delayed around 20 minutes. Go to the electronic check in and by the time we get to the front to drop off my bags, we're told that my flight's been delayed by another hour. That fast can change? We weren't even in there for 20 minutes and the flight got changed again. So we went to the Tims, and I ate some more breakfast, cause I didn't wake up early enough for some. wtf Then my dad was about to leave and I asked him not to. So he got some Tims and we sat there and talked for a while. Then comes to an hour before my flight is supposed to leave and I still have to go through security. But first I check my phone and see it says that my flight's been cancelled. Whut? This has never happened before. One of the first things I asked my dad about was my luggage. I thought for a moment that I would have to leave it at the airport for the night. But we found some people who work for WJ, and they let us know what number to call about a rescheduled flight and where to pick up my luggage. They also told us that the flight was cancelled because St. John's airport had no power. What kind of crazy weather were they having?

Second breakfast after airport
Scrambled eggs with tomatoes and a shit load of onions plus toast and fried plantain 

So we get the luggage and go back home. I'm checking the weather for both cities for the next day. Both cities are expecting bad storms. wtf So my dad said that if the flight gets cancelled again, just move it till the next weekend. I'll talk about why that was a good idea in my next post. I didn't though. My flight was scheduled for the next morning. No one thought I'd get out, and I was hoping this flight would get cancelled too. I even asked WJ on twitter to cancel it for me. No such luck. We boarded, we de-iced and we flew. It was so weird to come back.


What came next is another story in itself. I'll post about that soon. Now that I'm here and no longer living out of my suitcases, I can hopefully get back into MUN life without too much difficulty.

1.06.2014

Happy New Year!!

**Late post because of the power outages/bad connection, cancelled fight and the never-ending jetlag.**

I am back! For good. I had a rough last semester at Kyunghee and it got significantly worse in the last few weeks, but I have missed blogging so much, so I am committed to keeping up with it again. I have got a busy semester ahead of me, and my best friend from St. John's has now moved. I'm really scared about this semester, but I want nothing more than to return to Korea, so I will try my best to make sure that everything stays on track.

I've been blogging daily-ish on Dayre. It’s a new blogging app that makes mobile blogging so easy. I signed up with at the end of November. It's basically twitter, instagram, foursquare and vine all rolled up in one with a lot of cute Line style stickers. All the little posts you make in a day make up one blog post. You can hashtag things, although I think it's still only in English. I really love this app, but I'm convinced it's not gonna be a big deal outside of Asia. Either way, you can follow me there if you want more updates.

As always I am still ranting and sharing random thoughts on twitter. You can follow me here.

I'm taking a break from tumblr, but my queue still has quite a bit of posts lined up, so you can still see new-ish posts from me here.

So what do you have to look forward to on here? More movie reviews, my (sometimes very critical) thoughts on Classic and New Who, random posts and pictures about Korea and the usual mundane posts about my life in St. John's. I'm also gonna be taking some online courses through Coursera and edX, so I'll post some about that too.

I've really missed this space and I'm glad to be back. So much has happened since I was last here. I'm now an aunty, I've suffered through an impossible class and I've said more goodbyes than I care to remember. Even though 2013 ended on a lower note than expected, it was the best year of my life. I can't wait to go back to Korea.